How do I escape depression caused by metaphysical studies of the cruelty of human nature and loss of utopia H?

Don't look at it like that. Not saying your wrong. Look at it like this. I feel you. I am at a computer somewhere and have the same thoughts in my head. I cannot fight this force either. So rather then live in misery live knowing that there is an invisible network of people who feel like you do. Take heed in the fact that our network will not always be invisible nor ignored. For now, you must seek out others who wish to think on these things because most do not. My father made fun of me as a youth for thinking on such deep matters. Now I live happily with my girlfriend, she is like us too. And what we cannot discuss with others we discuss together. You need only find one.